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What not to do in a Science Corridor - Unabridged Edition

 
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The Third M?n
Studio Exec


Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 575
Location: Chasing Stef around post-war Vienna

PostPosted: 02.12.2004 7:21 pm    Post subject: What not to do in a Science Corridor - Unabridged Edition Reply with quote

On Monday I was caught playing with a bottle and shouting [along with a few friends] in the school corridor while waiting for our Physics teacher to come and we were told to write an essay on such and such. This is what I wrote [damn teachers]:

What not to do in a Science Corridor ? Unabridged Edition

Corridors. Those long, eerie, silent and motionless corridors. They stretch endlessly to a point where the human eye can?t reach. Usually, they tend to be quiet. However, every once in a while that silence is ruptured by a bunch of testosterone-pumping teenagers who are supposed to be waiting to enter the science classroom. More often than not, instead of merely waiting outside the door for the teacher to come ? something that should be done with the utmost patience and courtesy ?, teens tend to play around so that the time of their anxious waiting is seemingly decreased. Thus, they shout, talk amongst themselves in loud voices, kick each other?s bags, hide each other?s pencil cases, push each other, make bundles and bully others who they believe to be inferior to them. Needless to say, the aforementioned instances should never be done ? especially by teenagers, who are supposed to be mature enough to know that. Lamentably, however, such behaviour does exist, and that is a shame. The fact that it happens at St George?s is not an anomaly, because they most likely do the very same thing in other schools. Students have been told to behave properly while in corridors ? especially in those that form part of the science department, where running amok could cause uncommon disaster, as the lab technicians normally go to and fro with perilous, rare chemicals that not even the most intelligent of people would be able to guess how they can harm an individual. Sulphuric acid, sodium chloride, potassium oxide; need I say more? Imagine if you will a naughty student who always disobeys teachers ? he is running unceasingly down the science corridors when all of a sudden he bumps into a lab technician, who happened to be carrying immensely dangerous chemicals. What would occur then? If the boy was harmed, his parents would sue the school, no doubt. But why? Because he disobeyed orders that were clearly communicated, that?s why. A boy?s unacceptable behaviour may spark the direst of events. But it?s not just the happenings that a boy?s bad behaviour may perchance ensue ? it?s just that behaving incorrectly while awaiting the teacher to come is an example of lack of respect. Pupils should not be throwing paper balls at each other while waiting for their teacher to arrive [in this case, Mrs Lamey] ? rather, they should be in a file, waiting outside the door, as quiet as possible [arms crossed also helps, because you never know]. In my case, my friends and I certainly did not behave as we should have done [or like we were told to]; we decided to go for the ill-disciplined way and do whatever we pleased. We got an empty plastic bottle which had previously laid on the floor for ages, kicked it amongst ourselves, threw it at each other and whatnot. What were we thinking? The thought that a teacher could see us doing such a thing may have briefly crossed our minds, but it was as though we did not care, because we proceeded. In the end, a teacher did come and we were badly told off ? eventually, our mischievous behaviour cheated on us, because the teacher stated that we were to write an essay on what not to do in corridors ? one has to bear this in mind from now on, because if you don?t, you?ll probably get told to write an essay as long as this one, and you don?t want that! However, just make sure that you make it entertaining so that it can light up the greyest spirit with the incandescence of your imagination ? thus, you?ll entertain the teacher for a while and make their day!

All in all, these are the things that should never be done in corridors:

- Playing football

- Running

- Drinking

- Eating

- Shouting

- Putting chewing gum on your friend?s hair

- Playing with unused bottles when you should recycle them instead

- Dancing

- Lying on the floor

- Banging on the walls

- And lots other things


Haha. This very morning my Physics teacher told me that she was extremely impressed by my essay. I certainly didn't mean it that way, because I actually wanted to take the mick out of her with all the long-windedness and whatnot... Ah well. The teacher that actually caught us doing all the bottly naughty stuff said that she was very pleased, too -- she said, "Remember when you cam here four years ago and you could barely speak English? Just look how much you've improved!"

Meh. Cool
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the night watchman
Studio Exec


Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 1373
Location: Dark, run-down shack by the graveyard.

PostPosted: 02.12.2004 11:33 pm    Post subject: Re: What not to do in a Science Corridor - Unabridged Editio Reply with quote

The Third M?n wrote:


Corridors. Those long, eerie, silent and motionless corridors. They stretch endlessly to a point where the human eye can?t reach. Usually, they tend to be quiet. However, every once in a while that silence is ruptured [...]


Watch Japanese horror movies much? Wink

Very impressive piece, young Jedi. You were able to inject just the right amount of humor without straying into the dangerous zone of sarcasm, which doubtlessly would have gotten you into more trouble. Funny, well-written, and oddly atmospheric. Keep working the system!
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"If you're talking about censorship, and what things should be shown and what things shouldn't be shown, I've said that as an artist you have no social responsibility whatsoever."

-David Cronenberg
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beltmann
Studio Exec


Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 2341
Location: West Bend, WI

PostPosted: 02.13.2004 1:55 am    Post subject: Re: What not to do in a Science Corridor - Unabridged Editio Reply with quote

The Third M?n wrote:
This is what I wrote [damn teachers]


Hey now.

Funny stuff, Mr. Lime. Although I'd certainly laugh if one of my students wrote a similarly well-written satire, I'd never ask for one. In my opinion, "schoolwork" ought never be associated with something inherently negative, such as punishment. (That's why I keep a Louisville Slugger in my room.)

Eric
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The Third M?n
Studio Exec


Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 575
Location: Chasing Stef around post-war Vienna

PostPosted: 02.13.2004 4:47 pm    Post subject: Re: What not to do in a Science Corridor - Unabridged Editio Reply with quote

beltmann wrote:
Hey now.


Sorry.

beltmann wrote:
Funny stuff, Mr. Lime. Although I'd certainly laugh if one of my students wrote a similarly well-written satire, I'd never ask for one. In my opinion, "schoolwork" ought never be associated with something inherently negative, such as punishment. (That's why I keep a Louisville Slugger in my room.)


Ah, I see. Thanks for your witty comments -- and the night watchman's, of course. I didn't really mean it to be pleasing. I just wanted to put the teacher off a bit, but oh well... I'm quite proud of it now, actually, especially since today I was told that they put my essay in a frame and placed it in the Staff Room for all the teachers to read. Heh.
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