Flipside Movie Emporium

[The Third M?n]

[the night watchman]

So it is. I'll read it today.
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"If you're talking about censorship, and what things should be shown and what things shouldn't be shown, I've said that as an artist you have no social responsibility whatsoever."

-David Cronenberg

[beltmann]

I just read "Glove Box Heart." I liked it. Brief feedback:

In the opening few paragraphs, I found much of the setting descriptions rather indistinct. The reliance on imprecise details, and especially the generic colors, prevented me from picturing specific sights--perhaps the ambiguity is intended as part of the mystery? The ruminations on sprawl strain to make thematic connections; to me they functioned more as conspicuous delay. I sensed that we were sorta killing time simply so you could spring something on me.

Of course, you did, with the wonderful sentence, "After all, I do still carry the touch of a soft cheek on my fingertips." I was hooked right there, and felt pulled through to the end.

The second-half dialogue sparkles with style, wit, and mystery; I was hanging on every word. I can't say I have a clear notion of who this woman is, but of course that's partially the point--our dreams, our fantasies, our memories are all idealized and unformed. As a transient experience, a woman like this lingers in our heart and spirit more than our senses. Most of us can relate to such an ephemeral memory.

I was reminded deeply of Bernstein's recollection in Citizen Kane: "I bet not a month has gone by since then that I haven't thought of that girl."

Other things I liked:

"poet of concrete and bustle"

"But there it was. That bend in the road that had never been there before."

"might break the world off its axis and send it rolling into Mystery."

And the last paragraph is perfect.

Eric

[the night watchman]

Glad you liked it, Eric. Thanks for reading and for the critique. I think the first half goes on bit long, too, but I edited the hell out of it, and everything that remained was necessary to establish the "world." Maybe I'll come back to it in a few years and figure out how to streamline it further.

[beltmann]